Fortune Cookies!
by Kaoru-chan21
Summary: 9 heros and 1 super villan on a quest for Chinese! But when a crazy author comes in, what will happen? find out! Purly humorus


Fortune Cookies!!  
  
This is gonna to be pretty bad it's my first. Plus the fact I haven't exactly.completely. finished FFVII, but I don't have all the time in the world, now do I? ::coughNOAHcough::  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter One  
  
Chinese, Not Mexican  
  
Narrator: All is quite in Kalm  
  
Cloud: You know that's getting to be annoying..who are you anyway?  
  
Kaoru-chan21: I'm Kaoru-chan21, a new author!  
  
Cloud: Oh great someone else to torture us! (and what a weird name)  
  
KC: Don't worry; I'm not as bad as other authors! (It's Japanese leave mealone)  
  
Cloud: Wait.not as bad?  
  
KC: Alright enough! I have to get back to the story please!  
  
Cloud: Sorry.  
  
KC: All is quite in Kalm town...the gang is planning a relaxing night watching movies, eating Chinese food but.  
  
Sephy: I hate Chinese! Can we get Mexican?  
  
Cid: How about Italian?  
  
Tifa: I like Indian!  
  
KC: I don't care what you like! You're ordering Chinese! Wait..Sepherioth since when are you part of the gang?  
  
Sephy: Since Shinra didn't pay me enough  
  
KC: Did they ever pay you?  
  
Sephy: Well.  
  
KC: Never mind!  
  
Aeris: Why Chinese? Why not pizza? Isn't that what most people get with a movie?  
  
KC: Because I love Chinese!  
  
Aeris: ...  
  
Yuffie: I don't know why you're complaining! I love Chinese food!  
  
All: ...  
  
KC: Can we get on with it!?  
  
All: (reluctantly) yes...  
  
KC: Thank you. Now where was I? Oh yeah! But something terrible happened when they went to pick up the food.they were out of fortune cookies!  
  
Cloud: I that really so bad? I mean it's not like they were out of real food, it's just cookies!  
  
KC: They are very important magical cookies!  
  
Cloud: What kind of magic?  
  
KC: I'll tell you when I get to it, but I can't get to it if you don't go along with this!  
  
Red: Let's go for the sake of going, we need an adventure  
  
Sephy: I won't! She's gonna try to kill me!  
  
KC: Would I do a thing like that? Hehe.. Just 'cause Aeris is my favorite doesn't mean I'll kill you..  
  
Sephy: *sighs* thank god!  
  
KC: Naw I won't kill you...Aeris will!  
  
Sephy: Why is beauty so painful?  
  
Cloud: We don't really care if you go or not..you were the enemy.  
  
Aeris: I can kill him!?  
  
KC: Later, let's get back to the story!  
  
Aeris: Hooray!!!  
  
KC: Now, the gang goes to get the food, but on the way back they notice something's wrong  
  
Barret: Hey! We forgot Vincent and Cait Sith at the restaurant!  
  
Tifa: They were with us to begin with?  
  
Aeris: They were to quite to notice I guess.  
  
Cloud: Well, let's go get them  
  
KC: Easier said then done!  
  
Cloud: What did you.?  
  
KC: Muhahaha  
  
Red: Uh oh  
  
KC: Just then, the truck fell into a giant ditch!  
  
BACK AT THE CHINESE FOOD RESTURANT  
  
Cait: How long before they notice we're gone?  
  
Vincent: An hour  
  
KC: You really think I'd let them forget for that long?  
  
Vincent: Yes, yes I do.  
  
KC: Your one of my favorite characters!  
  
Cait: You say that to everyone!  
  
KC: No! My favorite characters are: Aeris, Cloud, Vincent and Tifa, in that order  
  
Cait: Hey!  
  
KC: Sorry, but I don't go for giant stuffed animals  
  
Cait: Darn..  
  
Rufus: You guys ordering?  
  
Vincent: Oh no. Kaoru-chan you didn't.  
  
KC: I had to! Bye!  
  
(Kaoru-chan vanishes)  
  
Rufus: So are you ordering?  
  
Vincent: What are you doing as a waiter?  
  
Rufus: You guys did destroy my company. so I got a job here  
  
(Just then, the rest of the gang bust though the door all dirty, except for Aeris who was using Sepheroith's cape as a towel much to his disliking)  
  
Sephy: Come on! I just got it dry cleaned!!  
  
Cloud: Sorry guys, we uh.Rufus!?  
  
Rufus: What?  
  
Cid: Chinese food now huh? hehe...  
  
Yuffie: (whose standing outside with what was left of the Chinese food) you know there aren't any fortune cookies in here!  
  
Barret: So?  
  
Yuffie: Isn't that what this is all about? The magical fortune cookies?  
  
Barret: Yeah but.  
  
Cid: But nothing! We could sue!  
  
All: What the helk are you talking about Cid?!  
  
Rufus: Please don't sue me! I need this job! Please! I'll do anything!  
  
Barret: Oh! Let me make him do anything! He killed Wedge, Jesse, and Biggs! Let me have revenge!  
  
Cloud: Ok, but don't kill him  
  
Barret Muhahaha  
  
Rufus: Help!  
  
Barret: You have be my slave and give us a whole box of fortune cookies  
  
Rufus: uh..ok, just don't kill me  
  
Sephy: Can I kill him? I killed his father! Let's make it run in the family!  
  
KC: No you can't  
  
Sephy: Why!?  
  
KC: Because I said so, now hush or I'll make you die slowly at the hands of Aeris and all the sharp objects in the world  
  
Sephy: ...I hate you  
  
Rufus: Here are the fortune cookies; do I have to come home with you guys?  
  
Cloud: We don't have any more room  
  
Rufus: Yay!!  
  
Barret: I'll find him a seat..hehehe  
  
IN THE CAR, I MEAN TRUCK  
  
Rufus: ouch! Oof! *bang* Owww!  
  
Red: Was tying him to the bumper really necessary?  
  
Barret: Yes, yes it was.  
  
Aeris: Why did we all go get the food? Couldn't some of us have stayed home? I'm squashed between Dumbass and Barret  
  
Sephy: You called me a pet name! How sweet!  
  
Aeris: You really think that was a pet name?  
  
Sephy: ....maybe  
  
Cloud: It's getting really dark, what time is it?  
  
Tifa: About 9:30  
  
Cid: No wonder it's so dark, we've been out for 2hrs  
  
Sephy: Hey Aeris, wanna go out with me? We could leave these losers and go somewhere beautiful and romantic  
  
Aeris: (hits Sephy hard with the Princess Guard) You jerk! You kill me then want to go out with me! What's your problem?  
  
Sephy: I realize now what I did was wrong and I apologize. Will you go out with me now?  
  
Aeris: Oh shut up! (she hits him again)  
  
AT HOME (Wherever that is)  
  
Cloud: So what's the magic behind the cookie?  
  
KC: Just open it and find out!  
  
Cloud: (cracks open the cookie) It's a piece of paper..it says: The secret of making friends is no secret to you! What the hell!?  
  
KC: That's your fortune! The cookies all have little pieces of paper that say your fortune!  
  
Tifa: Mine says: Love may come with a strange hairdo! Haha they know me!  
  
Cloud: Very funny Tifa..  
  
Cid: Mine says: You may not be there, but your sprit will always be with the stars! That's weird!  
  
Barret: Mine says: Revenge is not the answer! I don't know about that...hehe  
  
Red: Mine is: Wisdom is your true gift! That's interesting.  
  
Yuffie: It says: Thievery is not a way of life. Yes it is!  
  
Sephy: Mine says: The one you seek is reluctant, but do not give up! Oh Aeris...  
  
Aeris: You can take that fortune and shov-  
  
Tifa: What does yours say Aeris?  
  
Aeris: Umm..: There is only one of your kind.well I know that.  
  
Sephy: Oh Aeris!!! My fortune is you!  
  
Aries: (knocks him out with Princess Guard) Take that you son-  
  
Yuffie: WE FORGOT VINCENT AND CAIT SITH AGAIN!!!  
  
Cloud: Kaoru-chan why didn't you tell us!?  
  
KC: I was having too much fun watching you fools!  
  
The End  
  
Aeris: Wait! You said I could kill him!  
  
KC: You mean you didn't?  
  
Aries: No.so can I with all the sharp objects in the world?  
  
KC: Yea go ahead  
  
Aries: (With a bunch of sharp objects behind her back) Oh Sepherioth!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Heh..That was fun writing because I got revenge on Sepherioth for killing my favorite character. But don't worry.He'll be around for the next one I got planned..Muhahaha!! And I know those fortunes suck, but I wrote this story 12 o'clock at night and couldn't think straight by the end of the story. I hope you like the next one! (I hope you liked this one)  
  
See You Space Cowboy.. (I've been watching too much Cowboy Bebop..)  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own FF7..::looks at characters:: don't think I want to.  
  
Next time: Birthday Blues!!!  
  
(And Too all those who've already read this story, I just fixed it, (not like there are many people who read this)  
  
Ciao! 


End file.
